Of Beating Hearts and Buried Bones
by Winter's Melody
Summary: Natsume Hyuuga; the standoffish ex-best friend who she can't seem to avoid. Mikan Yukihira; just trying to get through Halloween. Oneshot.


A/N: Hi hi! Not sure if anyone here still remembers me, but I used to write some stuff for Gakuen Alice eons ago. I won't stop anyone from checking out my past stories, but be warned they are incomplete and discontinued (sorry!). This is a Halloween one shot I wrote that I've been sitting on for a few years, so I figured it was about time to post it.

Pic used is by vandeveylove on deviant art.

Enjoy!

* * *

Mikan Yukihira had conflicting feeling about Halloween. On the one hand you had the sour worms, gummi spiders, and oh god the chocolate; chocolate frogs, nutty snicker bars, and handful upon handfuls of rattling candy-coated buttons. But of course there was a catch; there was always a catch. And for Mikan that catch was inevitably the total embarrassment of being scared witless at each tiny prank. For the last few years Mikan had sensibly kept to her room, eating candy and watching inoffensive comedies in an attempt at having the best of both worlds. But somehow the ugly side of Halloween always managed to creep in. People had actually started to follow her around at school on the blasted day just to laugh at her reactions. Under normal circumstances she would have sent those vultures flying, but on Halloween she'd take all the company she could get. In her eyes the holiday had one thing going for it; it was one of three days of the year in which she was allowed to chow down on as many sugary confections as she could fit in her mouth. Lethal for the weight, but good for the soul. Were it not for this, Mikan would have been content to sleep through the whole day and raze it from her calendar.

"What do you mean you don't have the Mr Bear gummies in classic flavours?!"

It was an odd scene, the eighteen year old girl brandishing a packet of gummy bears in the face of the shop assistant. She was practically leaning over the front counter, disregarding any concept of personal space. The part time shop assistant shrunk away from her onslaught, wishing that he had called in sick after all. Kids these days were crazy.

"Unfortunately we're out of stock until tomorrow. The Halloween flavours taste basically the same as the regular ones…"

Mikan narrowed her eyes in frustration and read out the flavours on the back of the packet, her voice rising in hysteria.

"Toxic venom. Bone meal. Spider eye. Pumpkin spice - okay that one doesn't sound so bad but look at this; _fresh blood_! Do those sound edible to you? What if I eat one and die? Will you take responsibility?!"

"Look miss, those are just named to fit the Halloween theme, they're not actually flavoured like blood or bone or..." He tried to explain, but she had already sighed in disgust and stormed off, returning instead with her arms full of _regular_ and _safe_ candy.

She was just about to pay for her items and walk off with her haul when she heard a familiar voice growl her name. She cursed and shoved the note into his hands, glancing back with the guilty look on her face of a bear caught, one paw in the honey jar.

"No…this is not what it looks like mum." Mikan defended as Yuka grabbed her ear and pulled her away from the counter. The older woman bowed and apologised to the employee before turning to her daughter with a stern expression and reprimanding her.

"Really Mikan? I know this is some sort of tradition of yours but we are on holiday! Don't just disappear when we're having family time!"

"No, _you_ are on holiday. I'm being dragged along."

"Oh Mikan you can be such a drama queen sometimes. One weekend won't kill you." Outside the small convenience store Tokyo bustled by as busy as ever; cars spewing out smog as they waited in traffic, pedestrians weaving their way through with a careless death wish.

"A year might." Mikan objected stubbornly.

"This is about moving isn't it?" Mikan looked away from her mother, crossing her arms pointedly and avoiding eye contact. "There's no choice, your school is closing down."

"But why can't we just move to Osaka; that's where my friends are going. I won't know anyone in Tokyo!" Mikan objected.

"Nonsense, you'll know Natsume!" As far as Mikan was concerned, that was worse than knowing nobody.

"He doesn't count." she argued, wondering why the gods were so intent on making her last two years of schooling as miserable as possible. Yuka sighed, eyebrows drawn together in the very picture of sadness and regret. Mikan found it unfair that her mother somehow managed to look like the victim while dragging her by the ear up the street.

"Mi, I don't know what happened to you two. You used to be such good friends- don't roll your eyes at me."

"That was before he learnt how to speak."

"Oh that's not fair. Who do you think paid for all your phone bills in elementary school? All I used to hear was Natsume, Natsume, Natsume."

Mikan blocked her ears in mortification. That was a dark time of her life she wished to file away and never think about again.

"You promised to never mention that again." she shot at her mother.

Yuka humphed, "Let me and Kaoru keep our dreams." Apparently, because Yuka and Kaoru had been best friends at school when they were young, her and Natsume were expected to be all buddy buddy too. Although they lived across the country, their families had spent summer holidays together _every year_. Even after realising just what a jerk Natsume was she couldn't avoid him completely. But even that was only one week a year, easy enough to endure. Now that she was transferring to his school for her upcoming final year of education, the possibility of having to see his face every day was fast becoming a reality.

As they stepped into the cool air of their hotel's lobby, Yuka's face broke out into a smile and she waved at a figure. Mikan realised with a sinking heart that it must be Kaoru, coming to pick them up. Not that she had a problem with Aunt Kaoru. She was mostly cool, if a bit nosy. Her son on the other hand…

He was leaning back elegantly in one of the hotel's chaise lounges, lips slightly pursed in concentration as his eyes darted across the pages of a book. As they approached he looked up and greeted Yuka politely before turning to Mikan.

"Miss me, polka?" That ass. He clearly didn't know when a joke should be retired. She checked to make sure Yuka and Kaoru were distracted before replying.

"Not one bit, fire bug." she replied, deriving vicious satisfaction at the strain in his jaw. It was a low blow and they both knew it. He was a registered arsonist and still had to check in with a social worker weekly during the dry months. But no one ever talked about this, especially not around family.

The tension was now thick enough to cut with a knife, which was exactly how Mikan preferred it with Natsume. It made it harder to forget in small moments that they were _not_ friends.

The car ride was painfully awkward. Yuka and Kaoru chatted about everything under the sun in the front, while Mikan and Natsume sat in stony silence, each looking out their respective windows. Every so often she would inspect his reflection in the window.

His jawline had grown a little stronger in the year since she'd last seen him. Every year a small part of her would hope that he'd finally go through the awkward teenage phase, where pimples would sprout on his face and he'd try out some stupid hairstyle like a mullet or whatever it was teenage boys eventually came to regret. Well he was almost eighteen now, and it still hadn't happened. This fact made her want to slam his stupid wordy book into his perfect face. Oh shit, his eyes had just caught hers in the reflection.

"I can give you a picture." He advised. "I'll even sign it for you."

"I wasn't- urg you are insufferable." Mikan spluttered, glowing in mortification.

"Insufferable, now that's a big word coming from you."

"Play nice kids." warned Yuka, shooting Mikan in particular a glare. Mikan was left glowing in embarrassment and silently grinding her teeth.

When the gates of Alice Academy appeared Mikan's first reaction was relief. Finally the car trip was over and she could get as far away from Natsume as the campus would allow. But the flickering pumpkin lanterns hanging above the driveway were not a promising sign; their twisted carved faces leering down at Mikan menacingly. This was a terrible, terrible idea. Most likely she would spend the whole evening hiding behind her mother's back and Natsume would call her a coward.

"Were you going to open the door any time soon or should I climb over you?" Speak of the devil.

"I'm going I'm going, just don't climb over me, or touch me or anything like that." As she stepped out of the car she could hear Natsume laugh behind her before he followed her out. Yuka rolled the window of the front seat down and stuck her head out.

"Have fun, and don't fight!" Mikan only had time to see Yuka's wide grin as she waved through the window before Kaoru stepped on the accelerator. Wait wait.

"Did they just…ditch us?" Mikan asked, staring slack jawed at the retreating back of the car. Natsume stretched his arms out behind his head casually.

"Sure looks like it."

"You _knew_?" Mikan asked in disbelief. Natsume shrugged.

"Of course not. Do you think I would've come if it meant being stuck here babysitting you?" Although his choice of words irked her, she could see that he wasn't lying. A second later Mikan's phone pinged.

Don't hate me

We'll pick you up at 9.

Your favourite mum xoxo

Mikan let off a stream of ungodly words, causing Natsume to snigger.

"You." she rounded on him. "I am not putting up with you all night."

He raised his voice in mock excitement, "Well isn't that perfect, because there's nothing _forcing_ you to stick with me. You can always go off on your own to enjoy the terrifying costumes, the haunted house, realistic decorations. My school's really _really_ into this sort of thing."

"You know I hate this exact thing!" Mikan cried out on the verge of tears. Like it or not Mikan was stuck with Natsume for the next three hours, even if it made her want to pull her hair out.

As if on cue, a bloodstained mummy groaned his way past, and Mikan sidled closer to Natsume, putting him in between her and the object of her fear like a meat shield.

"I don't know why people dress like that." she muttered angrily. "It's just so ugly."

"To scare suckers like you." Natsume suggested, stopping to look at the masks hanging on the stall next to them.

"Don't you dare." she warned, as he held up a particularly hideous mask to his face.

"Does it suit me?" Mikan took a step back and shook her head vigorously.

"That was in a horror movie wasn't it. The one with the flesh eating ducks..."

"You should see the look on your face." Natsume laughed at Mikan and choose another mask from the stand, slipping it onto his face. "Do you like this one better? It's a cute bunny."

"Cute bunnies don't cry blood!" Mikan cast her eyes around in desperation, looking for anything that wouldn't scare her. "How about these?" she suggested, jamming a pair of black cat ears on his head. He looked at her a second, a horrifying cat bunny hybrid. "Take off the mask already!." she grabbed the mask off him and threw it back onto its peg. Natsume looked at the store mirror, tilting his head around unnecessarily - as far as she could tell he had no bad angles. At last he looked up at the stall keeper.

"I'll take the ears." The student behind the counter looked flustered at being addressed so suddenly, quickly composing himself.

"Um..Y-Yeah. Do y- do you want that in a bag? Or I can gift wrap that for you Mr Hyuuga, my Mum says I'm very good at wrapping…" Natsume bluntly declined, laying down the money and moving on, tentatively touching the fluffy ears still perched on his head.

Mikan eyed him warily. "How did he know who you were?"

"My reputation precedes me."

"Your reputation as a major prick? Or your reputation as an ex juvie arsonist?"

"Mikan, give me some credit. I'm a top ten honour student."

" _Would you like that gift wrapped Hyuuga-san?_ " Mikan mimicked. "You only offer to gift wrap things at a school event if you're scared of them. Or if you're trying to get into their pants."

"I'm a good looking guy."

Mikan scoffed but did not refute him.

It wasn't just the student at the stall. Now that Mikan was paying attention she noticed that eyes would immediately gravitate towards Natsume when he entered a room. Somehow the pair managed to move freely no matter how tightly packed the corridor, and the students handing out flyers always seemed to avoid them. Ordinarily she would have thought this a good thing, but Mikan had to go up to someone specifically to ask for an itinerary.

"Let's see, it looks like events are running in the plaza all evening."

"Should we head to the plaza then?" asked Natsume, distracted as he wrestled with a takoyaki stick.

"Definitely not. I'm steering as far clear of the plaza as possible."

"Of course." sighed Natsume, rolling his eyes. Mikan threw him a filthy look.

"This place looks out of the way." she pointed to the far corner of the map, as far from the celebrations as they could get without leaving the campus.

Natsume smothered a laugh, "Polka, we can't go there. That's a make out spot."

"So? It's not as if some madman's going to point a gun at us and be all - make out or I'll shoot ya!" She demonstrated, forming a gun with her fingers. The corner of Natsume's mouth twitched, as if amused at the idea.

"I can't be seen anywhere near there with you. I have a reputation to protect."

"A _reputation_?" Mikan raised an eyebrow.

"As an honour student." he said sagely.

"Har har. Give me that map. I can get there myself." she muttered angrily, tearing the sheet from his grip. Natsume grabbed her arm before she could leave.

"No don't, it would be so awkward if you walked in on anything. And it could be dangerous this late at night."

She laughed brazenly and reminded him, "I do a mean roundhouse kick. But you'd remember that, right?"

"Vividly." he grimaced. "Look. My classroom should be unlocked. We can just chill there until we're picked up." Mikan considered this offer.

"This isn't a trick right? No ghosts or zombies or stalker clowns?"

"Just a few bags. No, don't look at me like that, I have better things to do with my time than mess with you."

Mikan eventually had to agree that yes, sitting in a nice warm classroom did sound better than hiding in the remote corners of the campus. It was a good idea, not that she would ever thank him for it.

Luckily there was a back entrance to the school building, so she didn't have to deal with the events which were running full blast by the main entrance. Deserted corridors and black stairwells were nowhere near as terrifying to Mikan as a few teenagers dressed in dollar store Halloween costumes.

"I am so glad you didn't wear a costume today." She admitted to Natsume, shuddering at the thought.

"I don't do tacky."

"…You're wearing fluffy cat ears."

"Hmph."

"Seriously, I think cats are your spirit animal or something."

"There you go, off assigning me stupid spirit animals again." Natsume grumbled. "Are we back in elementary school?"

"Standoffish, a little bit stuck up, likes milk, and scratches behind the ears..." Mikan ticked the points off one by one with her fingers. "Dead ringer."

Natsume scowled and wrenched open the door of what Mikan assumed was his classroom. It was very ordinary, Mikan noted with relief. Clean desks were lined up in rows facing the front of the classroom, and bags were slung over the backs of empty chairs. Natsume moved two desks together and slung himself across one of the chairs.

"Where's the rest of your class? They must be around somewhere." Mikan noted, collapsing into a seat.

"They're in the gym, doing a play." Mikan's eyebrows shot up.

"A class play?"

"Yeah."

"Without you?"

Natsume just shrugged, resting his head on one arm and holding open a book with his other. "I didn't like any of the characters."

"Aren't you worried about getting to the end of high school and realising you haven't made any good memories?"

"A stupid play is not my idea of fun." Natsume shot back darkly. "And I'm sick of always being cast as the bad boy."

Mikan snorted, exasperated. "Then why don't you just ask for a different role?!"

"Because the play is _stupid_."

" _You're_ the stupid one."

This sparked a long period of silence in the classroom, in which Mikan and Natsume studiously ignored each other. Natsume focused almost too intently on his book, furiously turning pages. Mikan fiddled with her phone, topping her high score in tsum tsum and texting Hotaru about what a disaster the evening had turned out to be. Not that she had been expecting much in the first place. Damn Halloween. Damn Hotaru for being such a damn slow replier.

After some time the smothering silence in the room was interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching from the corridor. A pretty girl dressed as Snow White entered, walking awkwardly in her puffy skirts.

"Dude, if you were here why didn't you come see the play?" She asked casually in a surprisingly deep voice, not sounding upset at all as she gave Natsume a fist bump.

"Polka here gets scared easily, and we didn't want to risk her wetting herself." Mikan's mouth fell open.

"I would _not_ have _wet_ myself!" She objected, mortified, "and for the last time my name isn't Polka!"

Natsume smirked triumphantly.

"Don't worry about him, he's just an asshole." the blonde girl reassured, giving him a warning look.

"Yes!" Cried Mikan, looking at the girl as if she was the greatest thing in the world, "He is the worst, most egotistical, jerk faced asshole in the world!"

"Err, I'm not sure that I'd go that far." said the girl, looking a bit taken aback, "Sorry, what was your name?" Before Mikan could answer, a loud whooping noise sounded followed by a bang as the door flew open. A group of boys streamed into the room, chattering excitedly to each other.

"Did you see me smash that death scene? I'm pretty sure I heard someone in the audience gasp!"

"Yeah, from how bad you were." loud chortles and laughter ensued. Mikan was relieved that they were dressed in some old tudor style, rather than anything too horrific.

"Hey look," one of the boys pointed at her, "Natsume's with a girl." Queue chorus of 'oooohs'.

"Not my girlfriend.' Natsume uttered, with hardly a glance up from his book.

"I'd rather date a potato." Mikan said scornfully, and inched her chair purposefully away from the boy in question, as if she might catch something. A tanned boy with a short crew cut grinned menacingly at Mikan.

"Careful there. Natsume's not someone you want to piss off."

She scowled at his threatening air, raising her chin in defiance. "And what's he gonna do to me huh?"

"Let's just say that you might end up _burnt_." There was something about the way that the boy emphasised the word burnt that made Mikan's teeth grit.

"I'd be more scared of a cup of tea." she scoffed. And then she directed her attention to Natsume, "Honour student my ass. They're acting like you're some kind of delinquent."

Natsume avoided her eyes, "Hard to hide when I still go to weekly counselling."

"I suppose you never told them the whole story though." Now she had his attention. His eyes shot to hers and narrowed in warning, but Mikan would not allow herself to be cowed, "He didn't even do it!" She exclaimed to the onlookers. "He never set fire to anything!"

In an instant Natsume had snapped his book shut and risen from his chair, hand in a vice-like grip around her arm.

"This girl is crazy." He announced to the confused spectators. Although his voice _seemed_ perfectly calm, Mikan suspected otherwise from the pressure he was exerting on her wrist. He pulled her along to the doorway and then turned again to address his friends. "A complete pathological liar."

Mikan barely managed to let out an 'Am not!' before he slammed the door shut.

"What was _that_?" He asked, voice low and furious. "You promised to shut your mouth about-"

"I never promised!" Mikan spat out, interrupting him. "Don't invent some promise I never made."

There was silence in the corridor. Natsume ran his fingers through his hair and leaned against the wall, exhaling in frustration. Two chattering girls approached on the way to their classroom, but Natsume sent them scurrying away with barest of glances. At last he turned to Mikan, eyes pleading.

"Don't you care about Aoi?"

"As much as you, but-"

"Then why did you think it would be a good idea to go around telling people that it wasn't _me_?"

This was an unfair approach on Natsume's end. Aoi was like a sister to Mikan, everyone knew it. But when you set fire to a _seemingly_ empty lot in the middle of the driest month of the year, sometimes you have to be prepared for the consequences. You, not your overprotective older brother.

"She's stronger than you think Natsume. She needs to take responsibility, so that she can move on."

" _I_ took responsibility," He jabbed a finger at his chest, "so that _she_ wouldn't need to! What's the point in _both_ of us being punished? It's done, it's over." Mikan rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"It's not over for you though! Everyone tiptoes around you like you might explode any second! You're turning into someone you're not!"

"Why do you care anyway?" Natsume shot back. "You hate me. According to you I'm egotistical, selfish, proud, stuck up, a pervert."

Mikan turned away from him and crossed her arms. "You know what it is I _really_ hate about you? You always have to act so strong and _independent._ "

"And I hate that you have to whine about every little thing." Natsume spat, "Stop interfering in things that aren't your business." he warned, before shoving past her.

She watched as he turned a corner, and then slowly lowered herself to sit down on the steps, resting her cheek against the concrete wall. Why was it that she always felt so drained after arguing with Natsume?

Sent: Hotaru, why are boys such a pain?

Sent: Srsly talk to me. I'm lonely

Received: broke up with your boy toy?

Sent: ewwww. Ewwwww.

Sent: I don't want to go to the same school as him

Sent: its like watching a train wreck

Received: then drop out and become a NEET

"Thanks for nothing." Mikan said softly under her breath.

A thunder of feet echoed around the stairwell as a group of students rushed past her.

"Hurry!" The leader urged the others, "It might already be over!"

"Wait, what's going on guys?" asked an out breath straggler.

"Some boys from South Hill Academy picked a fight with Hyuuga."

"Oooh, who won?!"

"How would I know that stupid?!"

Mikan sighed as the small group scampered down the hall. Oh boy, he couldn't even keep out of trouble for five minutes could he? Then, with an air of resignation, she ran off after them. Stupidest day ever.

By the time she had run up the next two flights and arrived at the roof, it felt as if the entire school had arrived to view the spectacle. They formed a wide circle around the conflict, shouting out encouragement to Hyuuga and ready to step in if the need arose. But still, he was alone inside the ring, fighting against a broad shouldered boy from the other school.

"Get him Natsume!" called out the crowd in an admirable show of school pride. The enemy gave a feint before going in with a powerful punch, but Natsume nimbly ducked out of the way, fist snaking out to deliver a dazing upper cut in retaliation. The opponent staggered and in a flash Natsume had wrestled him to the ground and pushed his face against the concrete.

"Who's a pussy now huh?" he taunted, victorious. Mikan's face hardened into disapproval. She waded through the gathered crowd, grabbing Natsume by the back of his collar and attempting to pull him away from his defeated opponent. Natsume turned around, his mouth forming around the words 'Fuck off', when he saw who it was and hesitated. Only for a second though.

"Fuck off." He wiped a smear of blood with his sleeve.

"Seriously I can't believe you!" Mikan cried out. "What the hell is wrong with you?! You're acting like some delinquent!"

"Well that's because I _am_ a delinquent Mikan."

"You're a cup of tea!" declared Mikan, "And don't you forget it!" Her nostrils flaring in anger was the only sign she gave before letting free one of her legendary roundhouse kicks. You could hear the collective intake of breath from the crowd as Natsume dropped like a stone, and in the dead silence that followed Mikan gave one final 'harrumph', celebrating her victory. Looking back, she should have run.

"You there!" projected an authoritative voice. The speaker was an aged man with hollowed out cheeks, and out of style spectacles that could only belong to a member of faculty. "What school are you from?!"

Mikan looked around to identify who he was addressing. It was only upon inspection of the scene that a feeling of dread settled in her stomach. She stood in the middle of the crowd, all eyes on her, two boys groaning and stirring at her feet.

"Oh no, no no no. This is a misunderstanding, sir." She backed off cautiously, but the staff member advanced through the parting crowd, tapping a baton threateningly against the palm of his hand. Sparks seemed to fly in his rage.

"No I don't think I'm misunderstanding anything, fighting might be tolerated in whatever second-rate school you come from, but _here_ in Alice Academy, we punish troublemakers. _Severely._ "

" _Second-rate school?_ Who the hell are you to call my school-" Mikan spluttered with rage, "West Osaka Regional High is worth _ten_ of this stupid place!" The man turned an off putting shade of puce as his eyes bulged.

"You are coming to the faculty office now to wait while the police arrive young lady!" Well that escalated quickly. Mikan was just wrapping her head around the word 'police' when she felt a hand grab hers. With a warm jolt she realised it was Natsume.

"Run." he mouthed, and then suddenly they were hurtling down the stairs while the spectators roared in approval.

"After them!" ordered the teacher, "Don't let them escape!" Fully uniformed members of the student council seemed to peel off the walls, grabbing at the evading pair.

"This is crazy!" exclaimed Mikan as they sharply rounded a corner, the echoing sound of the advancing mob following them like a shadow.

Now Mikan had gotten into her fair share of trouble in her time. Mostly for organising student protests in her free period and various other petty misdemeanors. But nothing she'd ever done had even come close to leading a high speed chase through school.

"Damn, this is your fault!" cursed Natsume as they pounded their way down a deserted corridor.

"What?" exclaimed Mikan, "You were the one fighting!"

"But I always fight, no one cares when I do it!"

"Oh ho! Mister I can fight whenever it damn well pleases me…" Mikan was puffing now, each breath heavy on the heels of the last. "Since when did it become a crime to kick someone who deserves it?"

"Since always." Natsume retorted, checking the coast was clear before drawing her into a room off the side of the corridor suddenly.

"It's dark Natsume, you know I don't like…"

"Shh!" He silenced sharply, drawing his hand across her mouth. Mikan held her breath as on the other side of the door the clatter of footsteps passed.

"Are they gone?" She spoke as quietly as she knew how. His clothes rustled as he eased open the door a crack, a thin line of light from the hall falling on his face.

"Looks like it." He said hesitantly.

"Maybe we should wait it out a bit here though." Mikan suggested, "They're probably still looking." Natsume sounded his agreement, and a second later the fluorescent lights flickered on. Although a part of Mikan had been expecting some dreadful Halloween decoration to crown the disaster of an evening, it turned out to simply be an empty classroom. Although a bit in disrepair, with old scuffed desks piled against the wall, the room had a nostalgic sort of feel to it. She walked up to the window and drew back the curtains, revealing the festivities in the courtyard three levels below. A quiet laugh was drawn from her throat.

"It all looks so stupid from up here." she mused, one finger pressed against the window as if she could squash the scene behind it. Natsume grunted, but didn't contribute anything more. An awkward silence settled in the space.

"Thanks by the way, for uh, saving me from that teacher." She said it stiffly, the gratitude sounding strange and foreign when directed at _him_ of all people.

"My mum would kill me if I got you into trouble with the police." Mikan rolled her eyes.

"But it was more than that." she prompted. He didn't reply. "Just admit it, you saved me because you cared." He didn't try to deny it, not really. Just a noncommittal shrug and a tightening of his jaw.

"Always the same with you." Mikan sighed, frowning.

"What do you mean?"

"Remember that time when we were like, eight or something, and visiting Nagoya."

"Eleven." He interrupted.

"Excuse me?"

"We were eleven when we went to Nagoya."

Mikan frowned thoughtfully. "Feels so much longer ago than that."

"Just get on with the story." Natsume lowered himself to the floor, back leaning against the lit up window. Despite his air of nonchalance, she could sense his interest. She sat next to him gingerly, and settled down to tell her story.

"Well it was a while ago, so I don't remember everything perfectly. I do know that there was this one local boy who I had a crush on, his name was Miyata or something. Hair to die for, seriously, and he was some sort of junior baseball champion too. Normally I wouldn't think I had a chance with someone that popular, but he was actually really nice to me. So I confessed. He turned me down of course; they say your first love never works out."

"This guy was your first love?" Natsume asked, incredulous.

"Well I thought so at the time." Mikan's voice grew sour, "I was obviously wrong. He told his friends that I'd confessed, so later when we were all at the festival his friends kept on poking fun at us. They made jokes about how we should ring the bell together, and get married and have ten kids. I think he got really tired of the teasing and ended up saying something cruel to me. I don't remember what it was. Think I tried to forget. But anyways, I started to cry, and you could see he felt a little bad, but he still _laughed_. Everyone was laughing at me like I was the biggest joke in Nagoya. At least until you grabbed a branch and started charging at them, right there in front of the temple. They were so much bigger than you; it didn't end up well." A bittersweet smile played on her lips as she recalled this.

"I don't remember that." He said quietly.

"Of course you don't. You did that sort of thing all the time, it was like your second nature or something. At first it was kind of nice, always knowing that you had my back. But you just kept on doing it, shouldering all these burdens and never sharing. It was unfair and selfish. How could I watch?" His eyes briefly flickered to hers, uncertain and vulnerable.

"I didn't ask you to."

"Yeah. Instead you started pushing me away. You made me feel like some annoying tick just clinging to your side. It was just like being teased by that boy in Nagoya, except that the one tormenting me was you; my _best friend_." Her voice shook here, and although she could have said more, she shut her mouth.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, although it sounded more like a croak. "You didn't deserve it."

And then the worst happened. A dampness welled up in her eyes and spilled over onto her cheek. Goddamn it, why was she suddenly crying? Before she could turn her face away, his hands reached up to bridge the space between them. His fingers, so deft and precise in their turning of pages, landed hesitantly on her skin, smudging away salty tears. Mikan found herself leaning in closer despite herself. A strange fascination overcame her; a need to run her fingers along the contours of his face, to count the bouquet of dark lashes that framed his eyes. And to know what his lips would feel like against hers.

"Don't cry because of me." His voice was rough and quiet.

"I'm not crying _because_ of you, I'm crying _for_ you!" the words rushed out in a tangle, and just like a tangle there seemed to be no neat end to her sentiments. "But you never seem to see that other people might care, or that sometimes you _have_ to be selfish! You think that love is pushing people away and watching them from afar, and protecting them or whatever _sick_ delusion you have. Well you're wrong - that sort of love is stifling."

What had brought her here to this point in time where she sat lecturing Natsume about love? What had brought either of them to this point where, despite their closeness, it felt as if the long years stretched between them like a scar?

She didn't know exactly, but at this very moment she wanted it gone.

It was with that simple desire that she leaned forward, egged on by her pounding heart, and pressed her lips to his. His response was instantaneous, an arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her body close to his, lips earnestly trying to possess. Warmth and lightness spread from inside her, radiating outwards like a golden echo. His hands caressed her face and then were in her hair, pulling at her ribbons and releasing her locks in a sheer curtain of sweet orange scent.

Reluctantly, the pair drew away, flushed and breathing heavily. She drank him in with her eyes. His skin, usually so pale, was flushed pink; his feathery hair ruffled under Mikan's fingers; shirt dishevelled. She held his gaze; dark red, dilated, and glowing with intensity. It left her weak at the knees.

His fingers were still knotted in her hair, her arms around his neck, and their limbs pressed together. She felt irretrievably, pleasingly entangled with him.

"Now why did we never try that before?" She murmured jokingly. Not that she hadn't thought about it.

He landed kisses soft as butterflies along her jawline, and then buried his face in the nook where her neck met her shoulder. In the dark it took her awhile to realise that he was crying. Quietly at first, but then loud, raw sobs that she could feel shaking through his body. It was a first - she'd never seen him cry before. Not even the smallest sniffle, let alone the vocal outpouring of emotion that she was witness to now. She wanted to reassure him and tell him 'Don't cry, everything's going to be okay'. She didn't; somehow she sensed that there was a certain relief in his abandon, a hallelujah in his tears. She pulled him closer as if to contain all of his regret within her arms, and hummed gently through the growing lump in her throat.

FIVE MONTHS LATER

She shifted on her feet uneasily, eyes darting about and examining every detail of her new surroundings. Polished herringbone floors, awards nailed to the plaster walls. The smell of paper and deodorant. The hum and chatter and shrieks of students all around her, completely unfamiliar and apathetic towards a new student. They approached the class assignments list in droves, occasional cheers breaking out as friends found their names in the same class list. Mikan slipped through the crowd, eyes promptly singling out her own name in class A. She could have stopped there and withdrawn from the throng of peering students, but her eyes remained scanning until they fell on his name. Natsume Hyuuga. Just the sight of the characters comprising his name alone was enough to cause a surge of emotion in her. For a moment she felt it all, the flush in her cheeks, the itching of her fingertips, the loud knocking of her heart and that distinct sensation of having been kicked in the gut. And then it all fell away, leaving her tired. He hadn't called, and neither had she. Old habits die hard, she supposed.

He was assigned to a different class. She hadn't know if she'd be relieved or disappointed, but now she knew it was a mixture of both. He was the only person she knew at this school, but despite that she was reluctant to meet him again. Perhaps she was scared. Scared of his walls, scared that she would find he was an island which could not be touched after all.

"Polka."

"Oh for the love of god." she breathed as she turned around and found herself face to face with the devil. "I have a name."

"I know." He was closer than she had thought, their faces only a hand's length apart. "Mikan." His mouth caressed her name before reluctantly releasing it from his lips.

"You didn't call me once." she accused, clinging desperately to her resolve against him; although it was already beginning to crumble.

"I was thinking."

"And?"

Slowly and with deliberate intent he cupped a hand around her neck, eyes daring her to stop him. She didn't, instead leaning in to the chaste kiss as the collective student body gasped.

"You were the answer." He breathed, smiling so sweetly that Mikan wondered if she could bottle that look forever.


End file.
